TIME to say good bye to ‘social life with meaning’. ‘Professional life with zest’ is on the agenda at long last.

When I had my profound mathematical insights on my ‘intellectual odyssey’ that started in 1996, I could not know yet what my mum had saved me from the bombing of Dresden for: to bring ‘software lenses‘ to the world of discovery that computers are offering humanity.

She was 22 and I was 5 months old, when she used nappies to breathe through the fumes and smokes and walk, walk, walk with me in a pram. Apparently I didn’t cry, even though I was dreadfully sore. I must have been dumbfounded by the violence and noise around me.

When I was 16, she read “What is a Computer?” in the “Best of Reader’s Digest” and said that it would be good for me. Was she right! Later she deplored that I seemed to be married to my computers.

But I just couldn’t get the funding together. When I was caring for her until her passing, I could work with long-term unemployed programmers in Berlin with whom I produced this website to illustrate the potential.

Since then, I preferred to blog and publish websites than to re-learn programming. I had moved on from diagnosing and using software to designing it, formulating new mathematical concepts – based on my ‘software aided thinking‘ – and presenting it for programmers to understand.

Now I shall move on again. For I met an investor / client who said “I’m your man“, just as Leonard Cohen sang. And he introduced me to a programmer with whom I communicate exceedingly well. The ‘brain dump’ from my head to his is critical. We tested it for 10 days before Christmas. Since then I’ve been waiting for the second phase.

Now it’s starting. The data is coming to keep me busy and to reset priorities in my professional life with zest. BUT: the programmer stopped talking to me…

That means saying ‘good bye’ to my social life with meaning: petitioning, blogging, coping with trolls, shills, hoaxers and internet corporations adding misery to online living.

It also means a much more stable emotional and thus healthier life. Who wants to live in exile, unable to sleep due to worrying? Who wants to be afraid of Police only because I felt for other people’s children’s suffering, while I don’t even have any of my own?

As I am “wanted for discussion”, I shall meet Barnet Police and explain what I have done and what I have not done to help the 2 child witnesses and 18 other child victims in the whistleblower kids case.

I shall finish the book Forced Adoptions: against Parents’ Wills – the European Dimension – as it tells the story of my ‘pilgrimages’ to Brussels and our written submissions.

I shall replace my Slavic fire (father) with the calmness of my German mind (mother) that likes to analyse, measure and create new orders of organisation.

I stopped taking on individual cases, because “it was too much“. Too much for my emotional capacity. Too much for coping with my heart that may crack up, if I don’t lower the stress levels, I am told.

Data science, software design and testing will be healthier living than online campaigning. Oracles with my Digital I Ching will be more amusing than predicting where court cases may lead us.

When I finished school, I had to interpret this poem by Hermann Hesse. It ends with Anon, my heart: Say farewell and recover!

But it also says: for each beginning bears a special magic
that nurtures living and bestows protection.

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11 thoughts on “TIME to say good bye to ‘social life with meaning’. ‘Professional life with zest’ is on the agenda at long last.

  1. jdseanjd May 20, 2015 at 3:26 pm Reply

    Best wishes for the future. John Doran.

  2. kristen e patterson May 21, 2015 at 3:33 am Reply

    In case you don’t get my response via Meetup, here it is:

    Dearest Sabine,

    Good thinking! Release your energy, your heart, your soul, your happiness — things have tightened into a chokehold, and the perspective is shrinking to zero-visibility…the Spirit goes where It wills Itself to go, and you know It is leading you where you ought to be. I have been spending more time studying your metrics website, feeling a certainty the time is critical for your work to reach its destination — all things work together for good…I only worry about your safety as you re-enter the UK. I wish I could be there to welcome you!

    It seems like years ago that I listened to your first interview with Richie…right from the start, I heard you like the voice in the wilderness saying, Prepare the way! And look how far you’ve brought us! There are tears in my eyes.

    Thank you! I’m staying close, and studying your work, because the universe is telling me it’s trusted you with many secrets pivotal to the triumph of good over evil — because you have been willing to pursue them.

    If there is to be victory, it will be through creative thinking and energy — through all the qualities the enemy does not possess, but attempts to mimic. What else can I say?

    And now for something completely different!

    ALL my best! You’re the best!

    love,
    Kristen

    • Sabine Kurjo McNeill May 21, 2015 at 3:37 am Reply

      MANY THANKS INDEED for starting my day with ‘complementary’ tears in my eyes, Kristen!!!

      • kristen e patterson May 21, 2015 at 3:45 am

        Can you feel it, Sabine — the Peace that passes all understanding? In this moment!? It feels very real to me somehow right now. Peace, dear Warrior!

      • Sabine Kurjo McNeill May 21, 2015 at 3:52 am

        Yes, you know Kristen, that to me is the proof that I’m doing the right thing and that I’m carried by the universe in doing what I’m doing: follow my bliss above all else…

        THANK YOU for being such a ‘congenial’ supporter!!!

      • kristen e patterson May 21, 2015 at 4:00 am

        Absolutely. Bliss is our one true vengeance. Now I’m not being very peaceful… 😉 But it is a wonderful thing to have proof. And now I will do my best to support you ‘congenially’ over on your 3D metrics site — perhaps uselessly, but happily!
        YOU’RE WELCOME!!!

      • Sabine Kurjo McNeill May 21, 2015 at 4:05 am

        🙂

  3. maureenjenner May 29, 2015 at 9:20 am Reply

    Dear Sabine,

    I hope you will now have time to catch up a little and live again. I did much the same thing in 2010 when I returned to studying and academia as opposed to suffering the stress of trying to solve the problems of too many people. There is only so much that one heart and one mind can take on board.

    I am sure there are many who, like me, will wish you well. At the same time I thank you for what you have achieved in valiantly raising the issues of injustice prevalent in UK. The scales of complacency have been dislodged. Regrettably injustices still lurk behind the scenes, but more people are now aware of their existence. It is to be hoped that other brave hearts will take up the causes in the future.

    I wish you peace, and I wish you joy with your decision.

    God bless you, keep safe.

    Maureen

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